Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize