when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
My breasts were aching with rage.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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