I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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