No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize