Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
