so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize