i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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