I wish I could teleport
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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