you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
