Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
