This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
