Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You need Xanax blowdarts
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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