If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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