Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize