i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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