Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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