Is it normal to miss your booty call?
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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