She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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