You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize