And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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