The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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