Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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