New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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