I think i peed on brittanys purse
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
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