oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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