Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
