"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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