I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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