Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
