So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
handjob tips. give me some.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
