Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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