I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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