I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize