Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Randomize
