break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
