I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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