jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
