who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize