Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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