I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
