I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
