I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
