windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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