Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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