I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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