I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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