I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize