he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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