if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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