You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
