Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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