Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
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