He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
