Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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