The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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