Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
