I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
this boner is exhausting
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
