hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
