Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
