This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Drake has all the answers
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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